Oct 09 2009
DIVORCE (Not as boring as it sounds. Really.)
All divorcees are hypocrites.
Have I gotten your attention yet? If I haven’t, here’s the fun fact of the day:
Statistically, in Quebec, 1 out of 3 children are from divorced parents. That’s ten out of thirty teenagers in a classroom. My point here being that divorce has become more of a common aspect in youth’s life than cell phones… and we know how popular THOSE are…
Don’t get me wrong – nor am I against divorce nor am I a firm believer in the return of all traditional values. As a lebanese girl born and raised in Montreal, I’ve found a harmonious balance between the importance of keeping touch with certain traditional values and open mindedness and/or tolerance; all in moderation, right? We’re all sharing this planet, so we can’t turn a blind eye to our differences.
Returning to my main point, I think hypocritical is the only adjective that is common in all divorcees. Why? When a couple stands there, in front of friends, family, pets and/or priests, they swear to love each other “for better or for worse”, not “Well… until things get tough… then I wish you well, buy an apartment and regret my marriage forever. Deal? Great. See? We’re getting along already!”
Look, I can relate to the whole whiny mid-life crisis, and I am very aware of the whole questioning about your entire life purpose and all the melodrama and existential questions that follow it, but all I’m saying is that we should change what is dishonest. In time, these vows have lost their value; just like, historically, marriage has lost it’s symbolism. It used to represent lasting love, children… and financial security. Today, married men and woman become the butt of all jokes, encouraging them to believe they are in fact miserable and that the actual lock of the marital status means the death of all freedom.
Uh, hello – if you keep feeding us this BS every time some mediocre stand-up comedian runs out of witty quirks, you can hardly blame people for truly believing their marital status equals the Ultimate Decision. I’m completely against giving ultimatums, because really, with all the stress we have to handle already, who can use one more dangerous, life-altering question? If you didn’t catch the sarcasm in that last sentence, I really think you should reconsider your view of marriage. Permit me to quote Shakespeare in saying “LOVE OR NO LOVE – that is the question.”
That is the question. Shakespeare (and some optimism) is all you really need. If you’re still hesitating… get the hell out of there before it’s too late.
So, a message to all you divorcees-to-be out there…Go, get a divorce, live the new life you seem to be so fond of (x years after you jumped in your potentially permanent life), but while you’re enjoying this freedom, think about how many pretty words you stuttered out in that white gown and/or black tuxedo. I’m an optimist, but I’m also a realist – I’m asking you to spare us the BS also known as Vows and Promises, because they’re as unreal and insignificant as the H1N1 we’ve all been so afraid of. Not that marriage is something to be afraid of – unless you’re still uncertain. If you’re already standing at the altar, having second thoughts… you’re on your own… and so screwed.
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Hey Val,
i love your writing and the fluidity of your style.
here are my thoughts on the matter,
One is part of a “statistic” one way or the other, you’re either part of the ones who made it or part of the ones who didn’t.
Granted, one would prefer to be included with those who made it.
Now, as far as hypocrisy does, it’s just as -if not a hell lot more-hypocritical to pretend to be happy in your married life
if you go on faking your love and commitment, you’re not setting such a great example are you?
How should a kid feel if told his/her parents were never in love but rather constructed a diluted and artificial life in order to keep the children in this bubble.
Simply put, raising your kids in a toxic environment where love is just more of a habit and less of an emotion, is a lot worse than anything imaginable.
But that’s just my opinion on the matter,
Agreed, some don’t try hard enough and it has become rather more normal for kids to have divorced parents than have a cell phone, and in no way am I endorsing future divorcees, but as far as hypocrisy goes, I think it’s much more hypocritical fake it and much more wrong to lie to your kids forever.
Hey Val;
Nice writing. great style. I hope, with all happening around you, you will always believe in something called “love”. It is a very nice thing. Will it last ? That is the question and in most cases, it is a personal decision. I wish you a life full of love and trust in the person you will consider a future partner.